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What we say to ourselves counts too

Self talk is the chatter that runs through our minds, distracting us with worries, daydreams or to do lists. Some people don't experience as much internal talk as others. Mental imagery also varies with some people not experiencing it - black darkness with a streak of light occasionally.

We are all different, yet we have so many similarities too.

Communication is largely body language, making modern text and voice less informative and less personal. Words count, just for a smaller percentage than body language. People can sense the mood of a speaker just from a phone call, whether they are smiling or gesturing angrily - will affect the voice somewhat too. Within our minds we can also be smiling or gesturing angrily.

Smiling, positive mood, grateful for the connection to everything, good or bad - is healthier, less inflammatory. Gesturing angrily, even mentally, can activate pathways of that motion and increase tension in the body muscles involved.

We are connected to each other, and also within ourselves - we are symbionts with our microbiome, and within our mind we have three zones that vary in characteristics.

The brainstem and cerebellum are involved with basic life necessities - breathing keeping the heart rate going. It is also known as the reptilian brain because it is similar. Behavior instincts and wordless feelings are generated in this area of the brain. The Limbic brain is our emotional center, with bonds of love or companionship nestled here, and also fear and anxiety are localized within the Limbic brain. It is also wordless. The Prefrontal Cortex makes up the majority of the front of the brain and is the location of our vocal reasoning and decision making ability.

How we speak to ourselves often is a repeat of how our caregivers spoke to us. With effort we can change our mental chatter to be more sunny day and less overcast cloud cover. How we speak to ourselves can be bright and beaming, why stay stuck in bleak?

Because it can be difficult to get out of the rut? - true

Practice is how we learn and mindfulness strategies don't have to be on a yoga mat. Attitude of gratitude - is a tip in the post Peace may take Practice. Going for a walk, stopping at the playground just because you like to - is practicing life - living in the present and being in nature. It can also be relaxing to have a little of the outside within a living area. Pretty stones or shells, or a houseplant, and nature images on the wall - sanctuary. Last year's nature calendar can be this year's artwork.

Developing a ritual, a placebo habit of motions, phrases, or chanting or singing, may help to reach a deeper state of relaxation more rapidly. We can learn to be our own soothing voice that says, pause, ten deep breaths. When stuck in the rut of bleak, touch may help, soft velvet or a polished stone, or the chill of an ice cube. Adding a phrase or sound may help, "Calm serene, rational." That's for my less calm, serene and rational moments. Focus on what you want (not bleak) - ooh, I just said bleak again, and there it is again. Music or phone a friend, sketch, paint, write - or practice learning a new language!

Boredom is bleak. Having a sense of purpose and a project that is exciting right as you wake up in the morning - is what gives life zest and sparkle. Doing is more fun then watching. I never understood sports on TV or why my dad watched it. My thoughts, "Why not play!"

People are baffling, that's what keeps it interesting.


  • Shared by a peace-is-happy site member: Learn English, 15 Free Printable Books to download: "Below are hand-picked, printable books for English-speaking kids (aged 4-8), and for people who are learning to read English as a second language. " Thanks Emma!

  • Peace is Freedom to Love - Topic page on this site, with posts about relationships with self and others. Trauma survivor topics are also included.

  • The podcast series How are you feeling? focuses on getting to learn what your feelings are trying to tell you - sometimes it is thirst not hunger, sometimes its is a longing for a little freedom to run and play.

  • Post with how to say things that are self affirming rather than self harming: What to say when you’re talking to yourself. If we only grew up with constant criticism then how are expected to know how to say anything other than criticism?

Disclaimer: This information is provided for educational purposes within the guidelines of fair use. While I am a Registered Dietitian this information is not intended to provide individual health guidance. Please see a health professional for individual health care purposes.



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