At home in oneself.

Updated: Oct 27

We need to learn, if we missed out as children, that we are home in ourselves, or can be. Self acceptance might be an easier phrase than self-love to remove narcissistic impressions. Once we feel that wherever we are, we can cope, and figure things out somehow or maybe not, but acceptance that we in ourselves are home. this is it, and it is okay, or not, but it is our spot, our self, our home turf.


A sense of being houseless is adventurous - no specific address to pin you down. Travel, explore, see sunrises and sunsets. Wherever you are, there you are, comfortable in yourself. Maybe too hot or cold, or in need of food, but a mindset of self-acceptance can increase a sense of peace in any setting.

A hiker relaxing on his back on a rounded mountain top. Tree covered montains and peaks roll off into the distance.

A guided meditation is helpful:

  • Become Your Own Sacred Space I Short Guided Meditation, the Bare Female, (Youtube).

The artist Fiona Apple brings the concept of being home in any setting to vivid life, and somewhat tests our own equilibrium to watch the somewhat disturbing video (violence, political overtones) with the beautiful song and singer in the foreground of chaos.

  • Fiona Apple - Across the Universe (Official HD Video), (Youtube).

In an emergency do you panic, or remain cool and rational? Chances are without some practice remaining cool and rational may be difficult. I was raised to appreciate swimming and was taken to lessons which I continued through Water Safety Instructor and Life Guard certification was achieved. I worked as camp counselor and water safety instructor in boating for a couple summers during high school. Can you remain at peace while it has been raining for days and children are bored? and probably itchy? How about for a middle of the night nightmare with a tent full of upset girls? Life hands us experiences and we cope and learn that we can cope. That can help reinforce that sense of being at home within yourself.


Mindfulness is letting go of the itchiness as best you can because while scratching feels good, it makes it worse. Over-thinking is like scratching an itch. Distractions can help or grounding outdoors with bare-feet, or another type of sensory experience like rattling coins or polished rocks in a pocket, feeling velvet, sucking on an ice cube. Sensation can help return us to the present and move away from the itchy thoughts.


The linked document has tips I found helpful while mentally unwell - staying grounded/not anxious and heading into meltdown, was difficult. I carried polished rocks in my pants pocket for a few years, smooth and warm to hold. The ideas for coping with an urge to self-harm were based on "Treating Self Injury, A Practical Guide," by Barent W. Walsh, Ph.D. (2006), a guide for mental health counselors or psychologists. (guilford.com)

  • Table 4. Counseling Strategies for Coping with Urges to Self-Harm. This is from an article I am working on for a peer-review journal submission about pomegranate for histamine excess. Excess histamine overstimulates the mind, not just a cause of runny noses and dry itchy eyes. Self harm or suicidal urges may occur.

Coping ideas for self injury urges, a list.
Table 4 is based on this older graphic I made.

Two additional strategies that I added to a graphic based on a book written for mental health counselors:


Dissociative sensory grounding.

Touch: soft velvet, polished rocks, or coins in a pocket can be a personal oasis of calm in any environment. Odor: Vanilla or other calming fragrances. Vocalize: humming, repeating a positive mantra, chanting or singing may help center or release tension. Taste: a little dark chocolate, mint, or a snack. See: Look at something in fine detail. Move: sway, spin, rock; self-soothing is at least not self-harm.


Grounding, nature, negative ionizers.

Grounding is standing barefoot in clean soil or sandy area in nature, for 15 to 20 minutes. It can calm and re-center energy with Earth’s rhythm. Images of nature can also help calm. Negative ionizing water fountains or a salt crystal lamp can help air quality and mood.


Mindful breathing practice exercises are described in detail in a resource pdf available on the publisher's site. See pages 10-18, Appendix A: Breathing Techniques (guilford.com/add/forms/walsh5.pdf)


Movie clip - the final scene of Breakfast at Tiffany's - the character Audrey Hepburn plays has to learn to connect with herself before she can see that connections with others are a shared bond, not a trap necessarily. Breakfast at Tiffany's // Final scene - Spanish subtitles (Youtube) (Be cautious though, sometimes "love" is treated as a trap - emotional codependence or narcissitic abuse.)


Housekeeping note - I have added a Forum post to the Topic Peace is Childbirth which had a post about stressful times being less conducive to child-bearing. The latest post is about the miscarriage rate - this is a difficult time for conception and pregnancy. Sadly I recommend focusing on self care and detox for injected people as the unknowns are significant. I also discuss nicotine and nAChR blocking by the chimeric spike S1 subunit.


Disclaimer: Opinions are my own and the information is provided for educational purposes within the guidelines of fair use. While I am a Registered Dietitian this information is not intended to provide individual health guidance. Please see a health professional for individual health care purposes.


Reference List

Barent W. Walsh, Ph.D.,"Treating Self Injury, A Practical Guide," (2006), Guilford, https://www.guilford.com/books/Treating-Self-Injury/Barent-Walsh/9781462518876

pages 10-18, Appendix A: Breathing Techniques (guilford.com/add/forms/walsh5.pdf)