Early in a relationship is a good time to ask questions about values and expectations about life.
"Do you want children," is worth finding out before in a long term relationship. People tend to expect others to be similar to themselves rather than expecting everyone to be different. A person focused on school or a career may think their partner shares similar long term goals rather than expecting life to have different stages of development. Questions about a person's childhood can also be a good way to learn more about their interests and values.
Asking what makes a person feel loved may seem odd however people do tend to have different ways of showing love and may expect others to understand and share love in the same way. This can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings if signs of affection seem to go unnoticed or are not returned in some reciprocal way. Types of affection has been grouped in a book by Dr. Gary Chapman called "The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts," (2015).
Some people tend to express love with words, affectionate names and directly saying they love their partner.
Others may be quieter and show affection with physical gifts whether large or small, expensive or a handpicked bunch of wildflowers.
Gifts of service can be another way to show love and concern, completing some extra projects around the house or bringing a hot cup of tea on a cold evening.
Romantic get away's or other special events may be important for some people, something memorable to look forward to and remember later.
Daily routine habits may be signs of affection for others, the little note in the lunch bag, or text before leaving work - something to look forward to each and every day. (Summarized from: Chapman, 2015)
Whether a future partner likes to save money or tends to spend too easily may be worth finding out early. If someone likes things very neat and throws things away readily or prefers a more relaxed living area and likes to collect things is also good to know. Opposites can attract, but can they live together? Maybe if each has some separate space and some shared space and a willingness to discuss things rather than letting resentment collect instead.
For more questions to consider discussing with each each other during the early stages of getting to know someone see: "30 Important Questions to Ask Before We Commit to a Relationship," elephantjournal.
What if questions aren't answered or are concerns are dismissed as not worth discussing than there may be deeper concerns. Some warning signs to watch out for early in a relationship - before it can become more emotionally or financially difficult to detach - are discussed here: "Relationship red flags you should look out for," BusinessInsider.
Falling in love can physically leave you in a more trusting state of mind where little things seem cute instead of like signs of poor communication skills or emotional indifference or worse. Trusting your instincts may help but during the hormonal rush of a new love interest instincts may be overwhelmed by the feelings of connection and trust in the person that you don't actually know very well yet. Taking time before touch goes very far can help you learn whether there is an emotional and intellectual interest rather than just a physical one.
Love is friendship, emotional support, intellectual stimulation, and touch. Peace is being able to ask questions without difficulty or being made to feel like you're being a bother or unworthy of an answer. Peace is trust and the falling in love feeling doesn't last, emotional and intellectual interest can be very long lasting. Peace is also touch. Touch can be healing when the emotional connection is positive.
Disclaimer: Opinions are my own and the information is provided for educational purposes within the guidelines of fair use.
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