Peace is recognizing gas-lighting techniques.

Emotional manipulation can occur in personal relationships or with other family, friends or business acquaintances. The phrase gas-lighting refers to an early movie where one character purposefully made changes in daily surroundings in order to make another character feel like they were going crazy. One of the changes was in dimming a gas powered light or making it brighter from day to day. Over time continual little negative statements about things a person does or says or about what they like can leave them feeling emotionally confused, hurt, and worn out, especially when in between the negative statements are positive declarations of how important they are to have around, or how much they are loved and needed. The mixture can be even more confusing and lead to wondering what is going on, who is the crazy one in the room?

A helpful list summarizes some of the common tactics that emotionally manipulative people may use in personal or other types of relationships. Be cautious in what you believe if you start noticing some or all of these gas-lighting behaviors, the goal generally of manipulative people is to try to gain control over you or over a situation:

Frequent lies, obvious ones, not just little white lies to protect someone's feelings.
Denying they ever said something even if you have proof.
What you care a lot about is used against you, or is belittled or destroyed.
The person little by little wears you down over time.
Actions don't match what is said, promises or plans aren't kept.
Occasionally there will be positive reinforcement, to confuse or if something particularly negative had occurred recently.
Confusion is used to weaken your resistance to their control over you or a situation.
The person projects - describes you or others as having the same traits that you see in them.
They may try to get people to take their side against you, or increase their dislike of you in order to build themselves up and/or to isolate you from potential support.
They may tell you or others directly that you are crazy.
They may tell you that everyone else is a liar.

Based on a list by Stephanie Sarkis, PhD., a mental health expert and author of the recently published book "Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People and Break Free," (2018).
For more about how gas-lighters will often project and accuse you of things they tend to do or call you a gas-lighter - and believe it, believe they are victim - see a post Stephanie Sarkis, PhD: "Why Gas-lighters Often Accuse You of Gas-lighting," (stephaniesarkis). The advice: Denying their false accusations is likely only going to go in circles, see the projection for what it is a problem with the gas-lighter not you - and break free of their attempt to control you.
Bullying Management and Psychological Manipulation - a list of types of emotional manipulation and types of people who may be more at risk. Bullies tend to seek out people more susceptible to emotional manipulation tactics. (Mindskills Competence Coaching).
Tips to help identify tendencies of more empathetic people, who can tend to be more at risk for emotional manipulation tactics: Here are 8 things you don't know you're doing because you're an empath, (HackSpirit).

If you do find yourself confused and doubting whether accusations that you are gas-lighting the person could be true, pause and remember that if you are asking the question than the answer is no. Manipulative people tend to be narcissists,or other emotionally detached personality types and the common element is they don't think there is anything wrong with themselves or make attempts to change or seek help. If you are trying to understand and help them or seek help for yourself to improve then - no you are not the gas-lighter.

A night scene of a building with a few lights and a tall parking lot light is in the foreground of the image.

Gas-lighting blurring your inner vision? Recognize it & break free.

Disclaimer: Opinions are my own and the information is provided for educational purposes within the guidelines of fair use. While I am a Registered Dietitian this information is not intended to provide individual health guidance. Please see a health professional for individual health care purposes.

1 comment0 replies

heath

Sep 23, 2019

Pieces for the love and all affectionate items have been marked for the judgment for the citizens. The form of the love and https://www.meganstarr.com/part-time-job-student/is applied for the candidates. It is stuffed for the mixed approach for the innovation for the mid and classic use of the offers for the reforms for the happiness of the tings or the future offers.

New Posts

Jennifer Depew
Jun 18, 2019
Peace is multi-generational.
Discussion
Freedom to love includes the extended family. Inclusion of older family members or community elders in daily life is traditional in many cultures. Sharing housing with grandparents, adult married or single children and the younger generation is also typical in many cultures. It has become less common in Western society, however it can be beneficial for the whole family. Children may receive more quality interactions with more adults available for caregiving or educational activities, or even sharing in the household chores with the necessary oversite of an adult. Children love to help and learn best by imitating and doing the chores - but when life is too busy it can be quicker for an adult to just get the task done without little hands practicing the task. In the long run it is the goal to raise children who have the abilities to cope with daily chores and self care habits on their own. Developmentally children are ready for parents to add different types of responsibilities in stages and they want and need to have more responsibility. A List of Age Appropriate Chores for Kids 2-18 with typical development skills, by Sarah Agirre, ( thespruce ). Parents can benefit from having less stress about childcare if extra adults are available for childcare or maybe help with household bills or emergency expenses. Wisdom from having lived through tough times, or sickness, or difficult business relationships can be a bonus for young adults who might not call their parent to ask a question that might get asked if the parent is present to see the stress their adult child is experiencing. Grandparents or other older family members may benefit from having more social interaction and a sense of purpose living with their extended family. They may also feel safer knowing they aren't living alone in case there is an illness or accident. Caregiving needs with more serious health issues might be a benefit of a shared household, saving time driving between households and not having two households to keep clean and stocked with supplies. Sharing responsibilities can reduce stress levels for everyone involved. Good communication about expectations and privacy needs is important in any type of relationship. Asking for help if caregiving needs become to demanding is also important. Elder abuse can be a risk if stress levels get severe. Physical abuse, financial or emotional abuse may be concerns, occasionally sexual abuse is even a risk. More information about elder abuse and a discussion of the value of intergenerational community from a Christian perspective is available in the article: Elder Abuse: Chipping the Old Block, by Mark Cheesman, Nucleus , Autumn 2001 pages 21-26, ( cmf ). Disclaimer: Information provided for educational purposes within the guidelines of fair use.
0 comments
0 replies
0
Jennifer Depew
Jan 7
Peace is healing.
Discussion
Difficulties are part of life. Most people have survived some traumatic event or loss of a loved one. How we accept it and work through grief can make us stronger and more understanding of others. How we describe this process of grieving and healing to ourselves or others can be empowering. "Instead of saying: 'I'm damaged, I'm broken, I have trust issues,' say: 'I'm healing, I'm rediscovering myself, I'm starting over.' Positive self talk." - Horacio Jones ( GoodReads ) Sometimes childhood issues can be affecting adult feelings about oneself. Things that were said or done to a child may subconsciously leave the adult feeling they aren't as skilled or successful as they truly are and may know at an intellectual level. Or sometimes an adult may not feel deserving of love because children can feel at fault for whatever happens in childhood. The topic is discussed in more detail in an article "What You Think May Not Be What You Feel, " by Leon F Setzer, PhD., ( Psychology Today ). Childhood fears and treatment techniques are also discussed in a blog post: Reframing Fear . Disclaimer: Information provided for educational purposes within the guidelines of fair use.
1 comment
0 replies
0
Jennifer Depew
Nov 18, 2018
Peace is recovering from trauma.
Discussion
Trauma survivors have to move emotional memories into longer term storage that is less emotional to help recover mentally. As many as one in four survivors of trauma may develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Reminders of the trauma, as minimal as a color or smell or name, may set off the memory pattern that can include behaviors which can be dangerous if the memory involved some threat. Soldiers may react with defensive moves or attack which can put any bystanders at risk, or people with self injury habits may react in a way harmful to themselves. The reaction isn't a temper tantrum or taking offense at the slight reminder of color/smell/name/whatever set off the memory. It is a behavior response, a series of brain cells connected in the pathway that was learned during the trauma. Just talking about the trauma or just being reminded of it may actually make the learned response pathway stronger - and more of a risk of being set off again from reminders. Therapy that works at the deeper emotions involved can help reach those wordless emotional areas of the brain memory and may help calm the over reaction created by the stressful event or events. Music or art therapy or meditative types of therapy like EMDR may help move the memory from the emotional amygdala area of the brain into longer term less emotional areas of memory. See " Calming Trauma: How Understanding the Brain Can Help ," Phoenix-Society.org . More about Art Therapy is available here: G1. Art & Relaxation . More about Music Therapy and EMDR is available here: G6. Music & Movement . Disclaimer: Opinions are my own and the information is provided for educational purposes within the guidelines of fair use. While I am a Registered Dietitian this information is not intended to provide individual health guidance. Please see a health professional for individual health care purposes.
0 comments
0 replies
0

Peace is recognizing gas-lighting techniques.

Peace is multi-generational.

Peace is healing.

Peace is recovering from trauma.