Peace is neutral territory.

Freedom to love includes the extended family. Inclusion of older family members or community elders in daily life is traditional in many cultures. Sharing housing with grandparents, adult married or single children and the younger generation is also typical in many cultures. It has become less common in Western society, however it can be beneficial for the whole family. Children may receive more quality interactions with more adults available for caregiving or educational activities, or even sharing in the household chores with the necessary oversite of an adult. Children love to help and learn best by imitating and doing the chores - but when life is too busy it can be quicker for an adult to just get the task done without little hands practicing the task. In the long run it is the goal to raise children who have the abilities to cope with daily chores and self care habits on their own. Developmentally children are ready for parents to add different types of responsibilities in stages and they want and need to have more responsibility. A List of Age Appropriate Chores for Kids 2-18 with typical development skills, by Sarah Agirre, ( thespruce ). Parents can benefit from having less stress about childcare if extra adults are available for childcare or maybe help with household bills or emergency expenses. Wisdom from having lived through tough times, or sickness, or difficult business relationships can be a bonus for young adults who might not call their parent to ask a question that might get asked if the parent is present to see the stress their adult child is experiencing. Grandparents or other older family members may benefit from having more social interaction and a sense of purpose living with their extended family. They may also feel safer knowing they aren't living alone in case there is an illness or accident. Caregiving needs with more serious health issues might be a benefit of a shared household, saving time driving between households and not having two households to keep clean and stocked with supplies. Sharing responsibilities can reduce stress levels for everyone involved. Good communication about expectations and privacy needs is important in any type of relationship. Asking for help if caregiving needs become to demanding is also important. Elder abuse can be a risk if stress levels get severe. Physical abuse, financial or emotional abuse may be concerns, occasionally sexual abuse is even a risk. More information about elder abuse and a discussion of the value of intergenerational community from a Christian perspective is available in the article: Elder Abuse: Chipping the Old Block, by Mark Cheesman, Nucleus , Autumn 2001 pages 21-26, ( cmf ). Disclaimer: Information provided for educational purposes within the guidelines of fair use.

Difficulties are part of life. Most people have survived some traumatic event or loss of a loved one. How we accept it and work through grief can make us stronger and more understanding of others. How we describe this process of grieving and healing to ourselves or others can be empowering. "Instead of saying: 'I'm damaged, I'm broken, I have trust issues,' say: 'I'm healing, I'm rediscovering myself, I'm starting over.' Positive self talk." - Horacio Jones ( GoodReads ) Sometimes childhood issues can be affecting adult feelings about oneself. Things that were said or done to a child may subconsciously leave the adult feeling they aren't as skilled or successful as they truly are and may know at an intellectual level. Or sometimes an adult may not feel deserving of love because children can feel at fault for whatever happens in childhood. The topic is discussed in more detail in an article "What You Think May Not Be What You Feel, " by Leon F Setzer, PhD., ( Psychology Today ). Childhood fears and treatment techniques are also discussed in a blog post: Reframing Fear . Disclaimer: Information provided for educational purposes within the guidelines of fair use.

Trauma survivors have to move emotional memories into longer term storage that is less emotional to help recover mentally. As many as one in four survivors of trauma may develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Reminders of the trauma, as minimal as a color or smell or name, may set off the memory pattern that can include behaviors which can be dangerous if the memory involved some threat. Soldiers may react with defensive moves or attack which can put any bystanders at risk, or people with self injury habits may react in a way harmful to themselves. The reaction isn't a temper tantrum or taking offense at the slight reminder of color/smell/name/whatever set off the memory. It is a behavior response, a series of brain cells connected in the pathway that was learned during the trauma. Just talking about the trauma or just being reminded of it may actually make the learned response pathway stronger - and more of a risk of being set off again from reminders. Therapy that works at the deeper emotions involved can help reach those wordless emotional areas of the brain memory and may help calm the over reaction created by the stressful event or events. Music or art therapy or meditative types of therapy like EMDR may help move the memory from the emotional amygdala area of the brain into longer term less emotional areas of memory. See " Calming Trauma: How Understanding the Brain Can Help ," Phoenix-Society.org . More about Art Therapy is available here: G1. Art & Relaxation . More about Music Therapy and EMDR is available here: G6. Music & Movement . Disclaimer: Opinions are my own and the information is provided for educational purposes within the guidelines of fair use. While I am a Registered Dietitian this information is not intended to provide individual health guidance. Please see a health professional for individual health care purposes.